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Posts tagged Episode Guides

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Episode 7068 (5/19/2011) - Kareem Abdul-Jabbar

Colbert Report Episode Guide 150pxEPISODE NUMBER: 7068 (May 19, 2011)
GUESTS: Kareem Abdul-Jabbar
SEGMENTS: John Lithgow Performs Gingrich Press Release; Better Know a District - Illinois’ Fightin’ 18th (Aaron Schock); Clergy-Matic Ecclesi-Action Center 3:16; History of Life on Earth
VIDEOS: Wednesday, May 19, 2011

John Lithgow better start preparing his next Emmy® acceptance speech for ‘Outstanding Performance as a Special Guest on an Outstanding Musical, Variety, or Special Class Talk Show Episode’… or is that category only in the Daytime Emmies®?

Ripped abs and BKADs are cool, but can I just say that “Clergy-Matic Ecclesi-Action Center 3:16” may be my favorite TCR segment ever? And I’ve been a fan of Lew Alcindor Kareem Abdul-Jabbar since his college days at UCLA. I loved his running with the Basketball-Jazz analogy.

The History of Life on Earth video was just perfect, including all the important moments in our evolution. Truly.

Be sure to keep up with the Charleston-Bermuda Yacht race with the on-line tracking (brought to you in partnership with, I kid you not, “Garden & Gun” magazine). Stephen will be on The Spirit of Juno skippered by Rory Faulkner. And is that Report Head-Writer Barry Julien I see on the crew list?

Tell us what you thought of the show in the comments below the screen cap.
[caption id=”attachment_39874” align=”aligncenter” width=”600” caption=”Let the Zoners Come to Me”]It's the End of the World[/caption]

Filed under no fact zone stephen colbert tumblrize Episode Guides

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Episode 7067 (5/18/2011) - Austan Goolsbee

Colbert Report Episode Guide 150pxEPISODE NUMBER: 7067 (May 18, 2011)
GUESTS: Pander-tron 8000, Austan Goolsbee
SEGMENTS: Osama bin Laden’s Replacement, Tip/Wag - Ohio Legislature & Facebook, Breaking Newt - Pander-tron 8000
VIDEOS: Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Be sure to check out the web exclusive and unedited Austan Goolsbee Extended Interview Parts 1, 2, and 3. I definitely have to see that toilet everyone’s talking about!

I can’t say anything about the rest of the episode because colbertnation.com appears to be reeeeeallllly busy right now. I’ll have to catch the rest of the show later. Meanwhile, tell me what I missed in the comments below!

[caption id=”attachment_39764” align=”aligncenter” width=”600” caption=”al Qaeda’s Casual Friday Denim Jacket”]Osama bin Laden's [/caption]

Filed under no fact zone stephen colbert tumblrize Episode Guides

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Episode 7066 (5/17/2011) - Amy Kremer

Colbert Report Episode Guide 150pxEPISODE NUMBER: 7066 (May 17, 2011)
GUESTS: Amy Kremer
SEGMENTS: World’s Oldest Panda Dies; The Word - Enhanced Rejustification; Arnold Schwarzenegger’s Sex Scandal
VIDEOS: Tuesday, May 17, 2011

How nice to hear Stephen go old-school TCR and rant about those “Godless Killing Machines”! And then to get two Stephens at once - what’s not to love? And how could Amy Kremer not capitulate to raise taxes with Stephen pleading like that?? What were your favorite parts? Leave some comments in the appropriately named section.

[caption id=”attachment_39672” align=”aligncenter” width=”600” caption=”Stephen! Stephen!”]Schwartzenegger Sex Scandle[/caption]

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Episode 7063 (5/11/2011) - Eric Greitens

Colbert Report Episode Guide 150pxEPISODE NUMBER: 7063 (May 11, 2011)
GUESTS: Trevor Potter, Eric Greitens
SEGMENTS: Herman Cain Claims the Colbert Bump, Corp Constituency - Trevor Potter, The Rally Scores Four Emmy Nominations
VIDEOS: Wednesday, May 11, 2011

I was really tickled to see Stephen start off by talking about Herman Cain’s tweet thanking him for a “Colbert bump,” since I mentioned it in Monday’s episode guide. Stephen voiced the same thought I had when I saw it — a mention on the Report doesn’t equal a Colbert bump. Now it’ll be interesting to see if Cain takes Stephen up on the suggestion to visit the show.

I have a little sympathy for those poor Viacom lawyers right now, because I think Stephen may be giving them panic attacks over his Super PAC. The legalities of all this make my head hurt, but he seems really determined to do it. The petulant tone of his “interpretation” of the lawyers’ letter — “We are stupid lawyers who hate fun” — and the “I hate my parent company!” were exactly the kind of reaction I’d expect from “Stephen.” Trevor Potter is certainly racking up quite a few appearances, and I have a feeling we haven’t seen the last of him. But it’s interesting, in a mildly mind-numbing kind of way, to see how Stephen can get around the legal limitations on his goal. I hope that letter asking for the media exemption gets the ball rolling because he’s losing precious time here while the lawyers try to out-legalese each other. If he can get the exemption, then that press hat should do the trick. As long as he wears that while reporting on his PAC, I think he’s golden.

I’m ecstatic about the Emmy nominations for the Rally! As Jennie blogged yesterday, the Rally grabbed four nominations, although Stephen himself is only up for two of them. But it’s a well-deserved honor. For once Stephen and Jon are nominated together instead of competing against each other, and that makes me happy. Given the rest of the competition (“Equitrekking”? Really?), I think they stand an excellent chance of winning.

The change in scheduled guests was a bit of a surprise to me, but once I looked up Eric Greitens yesterday I realized I was already familiar with his book since I’d come across it at work not too long ago. I thought it was an interesting transition, from humanitarian to Navy SEAL, but the point he made during the interview about the need to provide protection for people being just as important as providing humanitarian aid made a lot of sense. He was a very articulate spokesman for the SEALS and for the support they get from the other branches of the armed forces. I wish they’d had time for a longer and more in-depth conversation.

What were your favorite parts of the show? Let us know in the comments!

Stephen's multiple personalities


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Episode 7062 (5/10/2011) – Geoffrey Rush

Colbert Report Episode guideEPISODE NUMBER: 7062 (May 10, 2011)
GUESTS: Geoffrey Rush
SEGMENTS: Newt Gingrich and Donald Trump Announce Future Announcements, Yahweh or No Way? - Thor and Apocalypse Billboard, Difference Makers - Donald Trump
VIDEOS: Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Hi, everyone!

Welcome to my first episode guide—and what a fun show it was!

Didn’t our favorite word hurdler look especially dapper tonight, with his slicked-back hair and classic gray suit? But even dressed to the nines, Stephen is a supreme verbal warrior, no holds barred, and he came out hitting hard against one of my least-favorite politicians and preferred targets: Newt. Really, why doesn’t Gingrich just go hide under a rock? But Mr. Colbert was braced to go, ready to jump on the “huge headed news” that Newt had made an announcement that he would make an announcement…. Well, visions of Jon and Stephen rally-rousing danced in my head. Oh how much more fun THEIR announcement of an announcement was than Gingrich’s! Theirs inspired fun; this just caused dread and a slightly sick feeling in my stomach. And then came the Donald fest about HIS maybe, possibly, terribly, no-good upcoming announcement. I especially loved the line about Trump “running in his mind…because that’s where all the supporters are.” (Score—Stephen: 1, Donald: 0; no make that Stephen: 5, Donald: -500 and dropping.)

Given that it was a huge and excellent part of Jon’s show tonight, it was fun to see Stephen also tackle the issue of “who gets the credit for killing Osama?” in such a different way. Leave it to Stephen to put aside the Republicans and the Dems and go straight for Jesus: it was a miracle that could only be caused by the beatification of Pope John Paul II! Who knew? That sequence smoothly segued into ” Yahweh or No Way!” I loved the comparison of Thor and Passion of the Christ (“Jesus was a carpenter; Thor had a hammer) and their “daddy issues.” I have to say, though, while Christ won the box office, Chris Hemsworth beats James Caviezel for beefcake any day.  And Cain McKnight? But most important: wasn’t it fun to see Stephen lose it yet again? And remember: you have to save the date, because May 21st is IT—the four Jorges of the Apocalypse. Oops, no; that’s only if it turns out that the world is ending in 2012. I hope it’s the latter, because I really want to see if Stephen wins his boat race. Whatever happens, I hope we’ve all learned our lesson: if at first your prediction fails, predict, predict again. A side note: I love it when Stephen bangs his calculator.

You gotta fight, for your right…to raise the flag? My heartfelt thanks for two, count them, hits at Trump this episode. I must say I wasn’t expecting the Donald in this capacity. But Stephen is not going to let go of him, and I couldn’t be happier. “Difference Makers” was a delight with its sly phallic symbolism. My niece and sister joke when they see a man making an attention-getting racket revving his motorcycle engine or speeding with a too-flashy car, that there goes a guy with a small p*&!is. This segment seemed to operate on that same assumption; after all, size DOES matter…otherwise it’s just another limp flag waving in the breeze. The Rosa Parks reference had me on the floor, as did the “shy philanthropist” line, and the fact that Trump did not know what the 13 stripes stand for was the icing on the cake. (By the way, for those of you who also saw TDS, you might have noticed that Jon had his own phallic symbol in the form of bat. Hmmmm. Must have been something in the air!)

And finally, finally…did you all love the Geoffrey Rush interview as much as I did? Stephen’s questions were clever and informative at the same time: Do you stick in the character after the role’s done? Why keep acting? It seems like you won acting? And Rush matched him well. I especially loved “What if you give your best performance at the craft services table?” I was reminded of how much Stephen’s own training can really come into play when he’s speaking with fellow actors. He just knows their lingo. The sign off was great, too.

So what did everyone think? What was your favorite part of the show? I know many people were looking forward to Geoffrey Rush’s appearance, so I‘d love to find out how you felt.

Yahweh or No Way? - Thor and Apocalypse Billboard


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Episode 7061 (5/9/2011) - Lupe Fiasco

Colbert Report Episode Guide 150pxEPISODE NUMBER: 7061 (May 9, 2011)
GUESTS: Lupe Fiasco
SEGMENTS: Hasidic Newspaper Removes Hillary Clinton, Herman Cain Wins the First Republican Presidential Debate, The WØRD - Autocratic for the People
VIDEOS: Monday, May 9, 2011

Hi kids, sorry about the tardy episode guide. The CN site was kind of wonky early this morning, so I had to delay finishing this until after I got home from work.

I’m glad Stephen started out talking about the doctored Di Tzeitung photograph, because I found it to be both bizarre and disturbing that they would remove the women in the photo. I understand that’s their normal practice according to their religious laws of modesty, but honestly, is the mere presence of women “sexually suggestive”? They later apologized for doing it, saying that the photo editor didn’t read the standard instructions that accompany all such photos from the White House that the photo cannot be manipulated in any way. But as Stephen pointed out, it doesn’t make much sense.

I had no interest in the first Republican debate — it’s far too early in the election cycle to start paying attention, unless you’re a pundit — but apparently Herman Cain made an impression. The fact that Stephen mentioned it at all pleased Cain, who tweeted about it and gave Stephen a “tip of the hat” in return for the Colbert bump. The Wørd tonight was a good one. I hadn’t even heard about that bloodless coup staged in Benton Harbor, Michigan. The idea that one person could have the ability to deprive elected officials of their power is wrong, and a little frightening. Do the same thing on a national scale, and you wind up with military parades.

I mentioned last week that I’m old and out of touch, and I wasn’t kidding. I’d never heard of Lupe Fiasco before I saw the guest list for this week. But it was an interesting and entertaining interview. Stephen trading his smart glasses for the cool glasses was amusing because it reminded me of his “Singin’ in Korean” look. I had no idea what to expect from the performance, but it was excellent. Don’t forget to head over to Colbert Nation to check out a web-exclusive bonus performance of "I Don’t Wanna Care Right Now". I was just doing a little chair dancing to it while trying to type this, which is a definite sign that it’s good.

Got anything to say about this episode? Share with us in the comments!


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Episode 7060 (5/5/2011) - Bill James

Colbert Report Episode Guide 150pxEPISODE NUMBER: 7060 (May 5, 2011)
GUESTS: Bill James
SEGMENTS: Stephen Confesses to a Distracted Media, ThreatDown, Inaugural Republican Presidential Debate & Donald Trump’s Wisdom
VIDEOS: Thursday, May 5, 2011

I’m always amused by the things Stephen says right at the top of the show that give some clue to the audience interaction before the taping. Today’s topic seemed to be New Zealand and The Hobbit, which makes me think that someone asked if Stephen would want to be in the movie. Or if he’d give a hobbit a massage. One of those things. Anyway, Stephen’s frustration with how the assassination of Bin Laden is dominating the news is understandable, especially since the story of the raid keeps breaking in bits and pieces. But there are definite advantages to having one big story dominate the news. Got something bad/embarrassing/possibly career-ending that you need to get out? Wait until a big news story breaks, and no one will ever know. Stephen’s dual confessions that he’s a “tweaker freak” and that he stole a Vermeer will never hit the headlines.

I love a good ThreatDown, because I need to know exactly what I should be afraid of when I leave the house everyday. So today I’m afraid of Dennis Kucinich with heat vision, “that smokin’ hot lady on American Idol,” and the fact that Glee has managed to do some fabulous product placement without anyone noticing. I kind of lost it when Stephen said every episode made him “want to wrap [his] lips around a tall cool one.” (Repeat after me: family friendly, family friendly…) The shout-out to Neil Patrick Harris at the end was so very cool. And that makes me ask, when is NPH going to appear on the show? Because that must happen someday.

Did anyone else not realize there was a presidential debate last night? It got so little press beforehand that I don’t think I even knew it was happening until yesterday, and it looks like a lot of potential candidates weren’t interested, either. Thank goodness there were a few “actual upright breathing bipeds” who thought it worth their time to show up, otherwise we’d start to think that no one was interested in the job. I had to laugh when Stephen pointed out that one of the candidates who did show up was someone whose name escaped him, even though it was someone who’d been on his show… twice. I didn’t remember him, either, and I think that says everything about his chances for success. I’m glad Stephen keeps hammering away at the notion that Donald Trump as a candidate is a really bad idea. Comparing same-sex marriage to golf equipment is bizarre. Comparing “President Trump” to licking postage stamps actually makes more sense to me: they both leave a bad taste in your mouth.

Bill James seemed nervous during the interview, but still had some interesting things to say about our fascination with violent crime. The fact that the public seems to lose interest in a sensational crime once we know what happened hadn’t occurred to me before, but sounds pretty accurate. The cases that continue to fascinate are the unsolved ones. The idea of crime collectibles is a creepy concept, although the phrase “Honus Wagner card of murder” amused me greatly. (For all you out-of-towners, a Honus Wagner baseball card is considered the Holy Grail of sports collectibles.)

So what were your favorite moments in the show? Share with us in the comments!

Stephen Colbert and Superman


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Episode 7059 - Amy Farrell

Colbert Report Episode Guide 150pxEPISODE NUMBER: 7059 (May 4, 2011)
GUESTS: Amy Farrell
SEGMENTS: Terrorists: They’re Just Like Us!, Stephen Searches for Shared Bathroom Key, Movies That Are Destroying America - Saving America Edition
VIDEOS: Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Has anyone else noticed the new titles in the opening sequence? Monday it was “Win Laden”. It’s changed again to “Word Hurdler”.

So glad juicy gossip lover Stephen can bring us “all the 411 on Mr. 911.” Glam on the Lam? Maybe the worst product placement ever for Nestlé, Coca-cola, and Pepsi. And poor Princes Beatrice - well, I guess she’s not that poor if she can spend that much money on a hat like that.

And thank you, Stephen, for reminding us that Mississippi and Alabama should get a little media attention. US Zoners can text “REDCROSS” to 90999 to make a $10 donatino; everyone can go to redcross.org to make a donation and find out how you can help.

Now… I’ll admit I saw the “I have to pee” coming with the flood description, but the whole Late Show / TCR shared bathroom sequence was truly from left field - just how I like it. Was that really shown on Letterman? Adding Ms Couric brushing her teeth was inspired. Yea… and text “REDCROSS” to 90999 already.

I was happy to see a “Movies That Are Destroying America” segment - it’s been too long and I always enjoy “Stephen’s” take on the latest from Hollywood. I’ll admit, every time I see or here about the upcoming Captain America movie, I think of Stephen inheriting the shield. And the All-American message? “If you’re a skinny kid who wants to serve his county, get jacked-up on steroids!” And we all know that Stephen is an Ayn Rand fan… the revisionist viewings of ‘It’s a Wonderful Life” and “Star Wars’ were brilliant. And really, John Aglialoro can follow his own philosophy and stop whining already. Does this mean a lower budget for the sequel?

As an “Extra-American” (I actually prefer Rubenesque American), I was looking forward to interview with Amy Farrell. I liked her previous appearance on the show and thought she did a great job of sticking to her point, no matter how Stephen twisted around everything she said. He really did get on a roll there, culminating in “Grover Cleveland is gay?!?”

I wish Prof. Farrell had talked a bit more about why people feel so strongly about others being overweight. If you have never been overweight, you’d be surprised at what perfect strangers are compelled to say to someone who carries a few extra pounds. For example, I once had someone at a bus stop come up and give me personal advice on exercise and nutrition. I returned the favour by giving him the business card of a psychologist friend of mine.

What’s your take on ‘Fat Shame’? Be sure to vote for your favorite segment and tell us in the comments what tickled your funny bone.

Movies Destroying America - Saving America Edition


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