I know, I know: you all dream of working for Stephen Colbert. You imagine he would be the greatest boss in the world - kind of like a super-cool Jim Anderson father to your inner Kathy or Bud. I imagine working for Stephen on ‘The Colbert Report’ is kind of like working for DB on the No Fact Zone: a cool boss, funny and talented work-mates, and an intelligent and appreciative audience that joins in the fun. But then I watch the show and think. “why does he treat his staff so badly??”
I love the alternative reality crafted by ‘The Colbert Report’, an absurd dimension that manages to convey truth. And Stephen Colbert perfectly plays the self absorbed idiot. It-getters understand his generosity of spirit and intelligence are always just below the surface. That’s why The Nation responded so heartily from the very beginnings of the show - it’s a parallel universe where we can be fanatical followers without loosing our humanity.
I wanted to do a final post presenting my dream episode - including my favorite opening, favorite word, favorite formidable opponent, most satisfying nailing ever, favorite musical segment, and favorite closing. But making a list like that would be impossible! How could you possibly choose? A person would spend a week watching all the clips on ColbertNation.com and obsessing over them for hours at a time and each time you think you’ve got it all finished some “related video" pops up and you think maybe this one will work but even while you’re watching that you’re reminded of that other clip with that monkey in a top hat on the Sistine Chapel ceiling but will that come up when you search for it? Noooo! And meanwhile what did pop when you search “monkey god” is a soooooo goooood and how could you not include Randy “Duke” Cunningham? Or Tom Delay? Or Formula-401? Who could make such a list???
In the end, I decided to honor the staff and crew of the show with clips featuring them - at least their absurd reality doubles - demonstrating just what a nightmare that “Colbert” guy is to work for.
So, meet Tad, the building manager, in an all time favorite segment of mine. I miss Tad, though I hear he’s still working somewhere in the building. And hey, Toby!
This one I picked because we see stage manager Bobby (before Stephen ate him),
the oft-called, multiple Emmy nominated Jimmy showing his directing chops, and cable-jockey Killer negotiating a raise.
Writers - who needs ‘em? Stephen finds out what they do up on the 4th floor when he opens the first show during the writer’s strike. The experience must have changed his opinion because he welcomed them all back after the strike was over. Oh - and say “Howdy!” to the guys behind the cameras.
Meg the Intern put up with a lot of harrassment. I was torn between this clip and the modeling for Nightgown Novel covers. I decided I like the sound of Stephen’s voice when he’s ovulating.
Though Meg is no longer around, the new intern Jay has his own problems with Stephen.
And, while not staff related, here we have Stephen at his most vicious.
If you can hear me over that earwig, I’d just like to say thanks. First, to DB for letting me play in her back yard. I wrote my first post over 4 years ago and it’s been a lot more than fun ever since. You made my obsession seem sane, DB and gave the world a safe outlet for it.
Then a thank you to all the other Completists - those fellow obsessives of all things Colbert. It was a true joy to work with a group so intelligent, talented, and dedicated. Honestly, I’ve always been proud to be part of such a high-class crew of bloggers.
Thank you to all the Zoners for reading, commenting, and sharing on the site. I think ‘The Colbert Report’ has one of the smartest and wittiest groups of fans of any show out there and the Zoners are the cream of the crop. I’m sure we’ll see you ‘round the webs, tubes, and MyFace pages.
And, finally, thank you to Stephen Colbert and his wonderful ‘Colbert Report’ team who turn out brilliant episodes day after day and inspire this obsession. It’s been real, guys. And I’ll see y’all soon ‘cause when I’m raptured, I’m going to the writers’ room at The Report and sitting at the right hand of Stephen!